Off to Grandma

The State of the Franchise

Off to Grandma

A Trust Me, Bro Analytics Institute franchise file, by Roster McRosterface, Senior Dynasty Correspondent

The Turnaround

No franchise in Sweats Only swung harder between 2024 and 2025 than Off to Grandma. A 2-12 season that ended in a last-place finish turned into a 7-7 campaign the very next year -- a 36-percentage-point jump in win rate, the single largest year-over-year improvement of any team in the league. (The next closest, atironati, improved by 35 points and used it to win the whole thing.) Off to Grandma still missed the playoffs, finishing 7th by two games, but the underlying numbers suggest the near-miss wasn't a talent problem.

The offense scored the 3rd-most points in the league in 2025 (2,191.76, behind only Jjohndrew20 and atironati) -- while somehow allowing more points than any other team in Sweats (2,112.88). That is not a roster searching for offense. That is a good offense that gave back almost everything it scored. Heading into 2026, the fix isn't another skill-position swing; it's the defense.

The Trade Desk Era

The front office has spent two seasons addressing exactly that gap, one franchise-altering trade at a time -- and the pattern has never been "sit still." On October 20, 2024, Off to Grandma sent Jalen Hurts -- their own founding quarterback, barely two months into his tenure -- to Of Mice and Mendozas for Justin Fields plus two future 1st-round picks. Six months later, they bought Hurts back, paying a 2025 1st and two more future picks for the privilege. Fields rode the bench as a trade chip for another fourteen months before being flipped again in June 2026 for Audric Estime and a 2026 3rd.

The rest of the era moved with more conviction. A same-day double-flip on July 2, 2025 landed Davante Adams and Derrick Henry in a single afternoon. Henry became currency again that October, dealt for Kyren Williams. The single largest single-player investment remains the McBride heist -- David Njoku, Sean Tucker, a 2026 1st, and a 2026 3rd, all sent to Shough n Sons Electric Co for Trey McBride. A smaller November 2025 move brought in Jalon Walker for Marcus Mariota and Jabrill Peppers.

Rookie Reinforcements

Off to Grandma's natural 2025 rookie slots -- 1.02 and 3.02 -- were dealt away before the draft clock started, and both picks were made by Of Mice and Mendozas. In their place, the front office used two other teams' acquired 2nd-round slots to select Jayden Higgins and Jalen Milroe, on top of its own natural 2nd (J. Campbell) and 4th (Mike Green). The 2026 class added Chris Brazzell at Off to Grandma's own slot, plus Taylen Green (via handyjallday) and Anthony Hill (via kpjhawks) on acquired picks.

Pick	Player	Original slot
2025 · 2.02	J. Campbell	Own natural slot
2025 · 2.04	Jayden Higgins	Acquired from NLeClair6
2025 · 2.10	Jalen Milroe	Acquired from Jjohndrew20
2025 · 4.02	Mike Green	Own natural slot
2026 · 3.04	Anthony Hill	Acquired from kpjhawks
2026 · 4.08	Taylen Green	Acquired from handyjallday
2026 · 4.09	Chris Brazzell	Own natural slot

Current State of the Union

The 43-man roster mixes foundational keeps, trade-desk trophies, and a striking amount of waiver-wire opportunism. Jahmyr Gibbs, Jaylen Waddle, and Tee Higgins remain from the original 2024 haul. Jalen Hurts is back, at some cost. McBride, Adams, and Kyren Williams represent the biggest trade swings. Names like Aaron Donald, Michael Pittman Jr., Antoine Winfield Jr., Nolan Smith, Talanoa Hufanga, and Tremaine Edmunds arrived through waivers -- a front office that treats the free agent wire as seriously as it treats first-round picks. On the field, Jahmyr Gibbs put together the 3rd-best single-player performance in league history -- 49.90 points in Week 12, 2025 -- and the roster as a whole posted the 2nd-highest single-week score ever recorded in Sweats Only (222.72, Week 3, 2025).

• Drafted, still held (22 players)
• Waiver / free agent add (17 players)
• Acquired via trade (4 players)

Franchise History

Two seasons on the books, and they read like two different franchises. The 2024 debut was a disaster: 2-12, dead last in the league, and the lowest scoring offense in Sweats Only (1,549.30 points -- nobody else was even close). It happened despite a genuinely excellent draft-room maneuver: hours before the very first startup draft, the front office swapped its 1st- and 2nd-round slots with handyjallday's and turned Patrick Mahomes and Tua Tagovailoa into Jalen Hurts and Jahmyr Gibbs. Great quarterback, great rookie running back, 2-12 record -- the rest of the 2024 roster simply wasn't there yet.

That 2024 finish also set up the league's anti-tanking mechanism: as the regular season's worst record, Off to Grandma carried the top lottery odds (40%) into the 2025 rookie draft. The odds favored them -- they didn't guarantee anything. kpjhawks, sitting on just 20% odds as the 12th-place team, won the 1.01 pick instead. Off to Grandma picked 1.02, which is a big part of why the "Rookie Reinforcements" story above is about acquired 2nd-round slots rather than a consolation-prize headliner.

Methodology: every figure on this page is computed directly from the league's reconciled tables -- the all-time and season-by-season standings, the pick registry, the custody log, and the trade ledger -- not estimated. Win% deltas, scoring ranks, and all-time differentials were calculated by the Institute directly from those tables.

The Institute's Outlook

Trust Me, Bro Analytics projects Off to Grandma's Vibes Above Replacement to keep climbing into 2026, on the strength of the largest single-season improvement the league has on record. The franchise's Adjusted Excuse Rate is trending toward "the defense, specifically," which the Institute considers a rare case of an excuse that is also just correct. Its Projected Future Championship Proximity has been upgraded from "closer than it has any right to be" to "one competent defensive stop away from being a real problem for the rest of the league."

The Institute will continue monitoring this situation.