Trust Me, Bro Analytics InstituteThe Dynasty DispatchDepartment of Dynasty Research
The Dynasty Dispatch Issue No. 007

Issue No. 007 · Week 5 Recap · October 13, 2026

The Dynasty Dispatch

The Last Unbeaten

Off to Grandma is the only team left at 5-0, Jsquared took its first loss, and a 0.24-point game now holds the record for closest of the season. Also: the highest score ever posted in a losing effort this year, and two winless teams that cannot stop finding new ways to be close.

Week 5: the unbeaten column shrinks to one

Three 4-0 teams became one 5-0 team, and the one that fell was the team everyone had penciled in as the league's best. Just Purdy beat Jsquared by 54.22 points, The Dudes posted their second straight 200-point week, and the Drake and Dart Show lost with the highest score any losing team has put up all season.

There were no trades this week, only waiver and free-agent moves, so the deal between handyjallday and Shough n Sons still stands as the lone blockbuster of the young season. This issue also adds five new features: a Waiver Autopsy, a Lineup Efficiency Index, a Luck Index, Roster’s Report Card and The Gauntlet. The rankings below are rebuilt on Week 5 results, the biggest roster need for each team is updated where events changed it, and the rumor mill looks at who is likely to be shopping next.

Five weeks in, one team is perfect, and two teams have not yet found out what winning feels like. The middle is where all the interesting arguments are.

The full record

Final scores, standings, and the top individual performances at every position -- weekly and season-to-date

Final Scores

WinnerScoreLoserScoreMargin
The Dudes201.02The Drake and Dart Show184.6416.38
Off to Grandma194.88You Like That!174.4620.42
Just Purdy191.86Jsquared137.6454.22
The Weekend Lovers181.82Poultry Science162.2619.56
Three Nix Nine136.06Shough n Sons Electric Co.108.2227.84
Of Mice and Mendozas101.90handyjallday96.745.16
The Wolf on Rubin Street98.48Tyreek Child Support98.240.24

Season Standings

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Top 3 by Position -- This Week

Loading Week 5 position leaderboards from Sleeper…

Bench Buffoonery

The 12 highest-scoring players in the league this week who never left the bench -- and exactly whose lineup they were sitting in.

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Top 3 by Position -- Season

Accumulates automatically as more weeks are played -- now reflects five full weeks of scoring.

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The Week 5 read

One team is perfect, two teams are winless, and the order in between shifted more than the standings did.

1▲ 1Off to Grandma logo

Week 5 recap

Off to Grandma

Week 5
W, 194.88 vs. You Like That!
Since Issue No. 006
up from No. 2
Biggest roster need
A trustworthy third back behind Jahmyr Gibbs and Kyren Williams, the one thin spot on an otherwise complete roster

Jahmyr Gibbs scored 35.20 and Kyren Williams added 16.60, and that pair did most of the work in a 20.42-point win over a 174.46 opponent. Five games, five wins, and the only perfect record left in the league.

The one soft spot is the bench behind those two. Kimani Vidal scored 15.10 while sitting there, which is encouraging, but a good week on the bench is not the same as a trusted third back.

The question: does the front office use a perfect record as leverage to add a proven third back now, or wait until a loss makes the need obvious?

2▲ 1The Dudes logo

Week 5 recap

The Dudes

Week 5
W, 201.02 vs. The Drake and Dart Show
Since Issue No. 006
up from No. 3
Biggest roster need
IDP consistency, since the offense keeps winning without needing the defensive side to show up

Back-to-back 200-point weeks, accounting for two of the three scores that high this entire season. Jaylen Warren (33.80) and Bucky Irving at FLEX (30.50) powered a 201.02 that was enough to hold off a 184.64.

The defense is where the points leak. Jamien Sherwood and Joshua Metellus combined for 11.00 in the LB and DB slots, while Quincy Williams put up 27.00 on the bench. The record is 4-1, and the only blemish is a loss to a team that has since lost itself.

The question: is the defensive lineup a source of points waiting to be unlocked, or a weekly decision that eventually costs a game?

3▼ 2Jsquared logo

Week 5 recap

Jsquared

Week 5
L, 137.64 vs. Just Purdy
Since Issue No. 006
down from No. 1
Biggest roster need
IDP production, since the DL, LB and DB starters combined for 9.50 points

The first loss of the season came by 54.22 points. Jonathan Taylor and CeeDee Lamb combined for 11.60, and the lineup started Tyson Bagent (3.18) at SUPERFLEX while Aaron Rodgers (22.00) sat on the bench.

The Institute does not drop a 4-1 team further on one bad week, and the drop to third reflects an opponent that scored 191.86 and two teams above it that won comfortably. J.K. Dobbins also scored 14.40 on the bench, so the bench had answers on a day the starters did not.

The question: was Week 5 a lineup-setting mistake, or the first sign that the starters are not as deep as the record suggested?

4▲ 1Just Purdy logo

Week 5 recap

Just Purdy

Week 5
W, 191.86 vs. Jsquared
Since Issue No. 006
up from No. 5
Biggest roster need
Wide receiver depth behind George Pickens, since quarterback play is masking a thin pass-catching room

A 54.22-point win over the previous top-ranked team is the largest margin of the week. Joe Burrow (24.60) and Brock Purdy at SUPERFLEX (17.16) supplied 41.76 from the two quarterback spots, and George Pickens added 23.50.

Zay Flowers and Terry McLaurin were the other receivers in the lineup at 10.60 and 10.20, and DeMario Douglas scored 20.50 on the bench. The formula is the same one that has worked all year, and it still leans on the quarterbacks.

The question: can a roster built around quarterback stability keep scoring near 190 if the receivers behind Pickens stay thin?

5▼ 1Shough n Sons Electric Co. logo

Week 5 recap

Shough n Sons Electric Co.

Week 5
L, 108.22 vs. Three Nix Nine
Since Issue No. 006
down from No. 4
Biggest roster need
A difference-making running back, since TreVeyon Henderson and Quinshon Judkins combined for 10.80 points

The first loss of the year came in the first week after the Judkins deal, and the headline piece scored 6.50 in a 108.22 effort. The costlier decisions were on the bench: Jalen Carter scored 32.00 and Pat Freiermuth 19.00 while Dallas Turner (0.50) and Kenyon Sadiq (-0.70) started in their places.

Carter alone would have turned a 27.84-point loss into a win, and the Freiermuth swap would have padded it. At 4-1 the roster still holds a top-five record, but this week's result was as much about the lineup as the backfield.

The question: is the weaker link on this team the roster or the lineup that gets set every week?

6▲ 2The Weekend Lovers logo

Week 5 recap

The Weekend Lovers

Week 5
W, 181.82 vs. Poultry Science
Since Issue No. 006
up from No. 8
Biggest roster need
A true RB2, as long as Josh Jacobs remains out

A 181.82 is the fifth-highest score of the week, and it came from two quarterbacks (Trevor Lawrence 22.74 and Jacoby Brissett 25.78) and a linebacker group that produced 59.00 across the LB and IDP FLEX slots. The 19.56-point win moves the record to 3-2.

The receivers were the quiet part: Devaughn Vele and Deebo Samuel combined for 8.10. Emanuel Wilson's 12.20 held the second running back spot with Josh Jacobs at 0.00 on the bench, and the need has not changed.

The question: can this lineup keep winning on quarterbacks and linebackers if the receivers do not show up?

7— heldThree Nix Nine logo

Week 5 recap

Three Nix Nine

Week 5
W, 136.06 vs. Shough n Sons Electric Co.
Since Issue No. 006
held at No. 7
Biggest roster need
Health, since the best version of this roster has still not shown up in a single week

Beating a 4-1 team by 27.84 points with a score of 136.06 says as much about the opponent's off week as it does about this lineup. It is a win, and the Institute records it as one.

A 3-2 team that has not yet played to its ceiling is a dangerous thing to have in the middle of the pack. The waiver activity this week suggests the front office is still tinkering.

The question: what does this roster look like on a week when everyone is healthy and everyone shows up?

8▼ 2You Like That! logo

Week 5 recap

You Like That!

Week 5
L, 174.46 vs. Off to Grandma
Since Issue No. 006
down from No. 6
Biggest roster need
Depth behind the stars, with Saquon Barkley dealing with a hamstring injury suffered in Week 4

174.46 is a score that wins most weeks. It lost this one by 20.42 to the league's only unbeaten team, even with Matthew Stafford's 27.32 at SUPERFLEX and Mike Evans' 22.80.

Saquon Barkley scored 0.00 on the bench, and Ray Davis (8.36) started in his place. At 2-3, a top-heavy lineup without its biggest name is the profile of a team that can fall behind quickly.

The question: how many more weeks can a 2-3 team afford to lose well before the record becomes a problem?

9— heldPoultry Science logo

Week 5 recap

Poultry Science

Week 5
L, 162.26 vs. The Weekend Lovers
Since Issue No. 006
held at No. 9
Biggest roster need
Two dependable starting wide receivers, since Ladd McConkey and Brian Thomas combined for 1.00 point

162.26 is a respectable score and a clear improvement on the 117.58 of a week ago. Jayden Daniels scored 32.26 and Isaiah Likely 26.90 at tight end, and it still lost by 19.56.

The two receiver spots returned 1.00 combined, which is how a team scores 162 and loses. At 1-4 the record leaves little margin for another week like it.

The question: can a roster win weeks when both starting receivers disappear, and how many more times will it have to?

10▲ 1The Drake and Dart Show logo

Week 5 recap

The Drake and Dart Show

Week 5
L, 184.64 vs. The Dudes -- highest score by a losing team this season
Since Issue No. 006
up from No. 11
Biggest roster need
Health across the board, with Daniel Jones keeping the quarterback room afloat

The league's first 0-5 team also posted one of its best scores of the week. Drake Maye's 39.46 was the highest individual score on any roster in the league, and 184.64 would have beaten four of the seven winning scores in Week 5 and set a new season record for points in a loss. The record says the team is bad; the box score says otherwise.

That is the reasoning behind the one-spot rise. The Institute ranks teams on what they have done and on what the roster can do, and this week it did a lot of the latter.

The question: how much longer can a roster outscore most of the league and still hold a winless record?

11▼ 1The Wolf on Rubin Street logo

Week 5 recap

The Wolf on Rubin Street

Week 5
W, 98.48 vs. Tyreek Child Support -- by 0.24
Since Issue No. 006
down from No. 10
Biggest roster need
A true No. 1 wide receiver to build the passing game around

A win by 0.24 points is a win, and it is the closest game of the year. Jordan Love's 25.28 carried a lineup in which Jordan Addison and Oronde Gadsden each scored 0.00, and the total of 98.48 is not a score that supports a place in the top ten.

The record moves to 2-3, and the Institute is happy to record it. It is not going to rank a roster that scored under 100 above one that scored over 180 and lost.

The question: is a 2-3 record built on a 0.24-point win a foundation, or a loan that comes due?

12▲ 2Of Mice and Mendozas logo

Week 5 recap

Of Mice and Mendozas

Week 5
W, 101.90 vs. handyjallday
Since Issue No. 006
up from No. 14
Biggest roster need
Everything; this roster is built for future drafts and has little to start this season

A win is a win, and the 5.16-point margin over a winless opponent moves the record to 2-3. The Institute notes that 101.90 and 96.74 were two of the lowest scores of the week, and that neither changes the position of this roster.

The move up two spots is for the win itself, not for a turnaround. A victory in a game between two of the week's lowest scores is not evidence of one.

The question: is this the moment to sell for the future, or does a 2-3 record make the front office pause?

13— heldTyreek Child Support logo

Week 5 recap

Tyreek Child Support

Week 5
L, 98.24 vs. The Wolf on Rubin Street -- by 0.24
Since Issue No. 006
held at No. 13
Biggest roster need
Starting-caliber wide receivers and a SUPERFLEX-caliber second quarterback, with both gaps now costing games

The 0.24-point loss came with an empty slot: the lineup had no player at its second running back spot (0.00), while Najee Harris sat on the bench and scored 1.90. That alone is more than the margin of defeat.

Josh Allen's 31.50 and Braelon Allen's 18.10 at SUPERFLEX kept the score close, but the receiver slots returned 6.74, 6.80 and 2.50 at FLEX. The 0.70-point loss earlier this season was also this team's.

The question: how many one-point games does a front office need to lose before the lineup gets finished before kickoff?

14▼ 2handyjallday logo

Week 5 recap

handyjallday

Week 5
L, 96.74 vs. Of Mice and Mendozas
Since Issue No. 006
down from No. 12
Biggest roster need
A true RB1, since De'Von Achane is done for the year and Quinshon Judkins is now on another roster

0-5, and a loss to a 2-3 team that was ranked last in the previous issue. DJ Moore scored 0.00 in the WR2 slot, and De'Von Achane's 0.00 on the bench is the reason the backfield looks the way it does. That the margin was 5.16 points is a small mercy.

The Judkins trade was a sensible sell for a team out of contention, and the cost of it is a lineup with little in it. Every week brings a new way to lose, and the Institute has run out of ways to be surprised, which is how a team ends up last.

The question: does the front office keep selling, or start a different kind of rebuild?

No trades, plenty of waiver traffic

The wire was active; the trade market was not.

A quiet week on the deal front

No trades were completed in Week 5. The only transactions on the books were waiver and free-agent moves. Of Mice and Mendozas won Joe Mixon with a 71 bid over a failed 7 from Off to Grandma, and Jsquared won Dohnte Meyers at 47 over failed bids from The Drake and Dart Show (30), The Weekend Lovers (21) and Three Nix Nine (14). Three Nix Nine did land Pierre Strong and Mitch Tinsley, The Weekend Lovers added Evan Williams and Cody White, and The Wolf on Rubin Street released Jarquez Hunter.

That leaves the Judkins and Van Ginkel deal between handyjallday and Shough n Sons as the most recent trade in the league. Shough n Sons lost its first game of the season in the first week after the deal, but one 108.22 does not settle whether three future picks were too much to pay.

With the first quarter of the season behind it and two winless teams still looking for answers, the market is due for another move. The rumor mill below has a few ideas about where it comes from.

Waiver Autopsy

No trades means the real action was on the wire. Every player claimed this week finished on a bench, so six claims produced zero starts.

PlayerClaimed byWinning bidLosing bidsWeek 5 pts
Joe Mixon (RB, FA)Of Mice and Mendozas71Off to Grandma 70.00
Dohnte Meyers (WR, CIN)Jsquared47The Drake and Dart Show 30, The Weekend Lovers 21, Three Nix Nine 146.36
Pierre Strong (RB, GB)Three Nix Nine2—3.30
Cody White (WR, LV)The Weekend Lovers1—5.40
Evan Williams (DB, GB)The Weekend Lovers0—11.00
Mitch Tinsley (WR, CIN)Three Nix Nine0—0.00

Overpay of the Week: Of Mice and Mendozas bid 71 for Joe Mixon, who is listed as a free agent without an NFL team, and he scored 0.00 on the bench. Bargain of the Week: The Weekend Lovers added Evan Williams for a bid of 0, and he put up 11.00 for a lineup that left him on the bench. Dohnte Meyers drew four bidders and delivered 6.36 to the one who won.

Lineup efficiency & the luck index

Two new measures of who is actually good, and who is just standing in the right spot

Lineup Efficiency Index

Each team’s actual Week 5 score against the best lineup it could have set from the players on its roster, using the league’s real starting slots. IR and taxi players are excluded. This is hindsight, since nobody knows Sunday’s scores on Saturday, but it shows who left points on the bench and who did not.

#TeamActualBest possibleLeft on benchEfficiency
1The Weekend Lovers181.82194.0212.2093.7%
2Just Purdy191.86217.0425.1888.4%
3The Dudes201.02228.9227.9087.8%
4You Like That!174.46203.1628.7085.9%
5Three Nix Nine136.06161.2425.1884.4%
6Off to Grandma194.88231.2836.4084.3%
7Poultry Science162.26202.5640.3080.1%
8The Drake and Dart Show184.64232.2447.6079.5%
9Tyreek Child Support98.24123.8425.6079.3%
10Of Mice and Mendozas101.90136.5234.6274.6%
11handyjallday96.74136.3439.6071.0%
12Jsquared137.64195.1857.5470.5%
13The Wolf on Rubin Street98.48150.0051.5265.7%
14Shough n Sons Electric Co.108.22197.2088.9854.9%

Eligibility is based on each player’s listed position, so a few IDP ceilings could be slightly higher in Sleeper.

Manager of the Week

The Weekend Lovers

93.7% efficiency, 12.20 points left on the bench

The cleanest lineup in the league. Nobody on the bench would have changed much, and the 181.82 was close to the best this roster could do.

Lineup Crime of the Week

Shough n Sons Electric Co.

54.9% efficiency, 88.98 points left on the bench

Jalen Carter (32.00) and Pat Freiermuth (19.00) sat while Dallas Turner (0.50) and Kenyon Sadiq (-0.70) started. The best lineup available would have scored 197.20, against an actual 108.22.

One Swap Away

Four losing teams were one move from a win

Each swap below was enough on its own to flip the result

Shough n Sons: Carter for Turner, +31.50 against a 27.84 margin. The Drake and Dart Show: Jordan Battle (24.00) for Nick Emmanwori (3.50) at IDP FLEX, +20.50 against 16.38. handyjallday: Carl Granderson (15.50) for Poona Ford (1.50), +14.00 against 5.16. Tyreek Child Support: Najee Harris (1.90) in the empty RB slot, against 0.24. Both winless teams were one swap away from 1-4.

If both sides had set their best possible lineup, three of the seven results would have flipped: The Drake and Dart Show (232.24) over The Dudes (228.92), Shough n Sons (197.20) over Three Nix Nine (161.24), and Poultry Science (202.56) over The Weekend Lovers (194.02).

Lineup Efficiency, Season to Date (Live)

The table above is the Week 5 snapshot. This one recalculates from Sleeper every time the page loads, covering every completed week, so it keeps growing as the season does.

Loading lineups from Sleeper…

The Luck Index

All-play record scores every team against the other 13 every week, so 65 comparisons over five weeks instead of five. Expected wins convert that into what a team’s record would look like with an average schedule. Luck is actual wins minus expected wins. It does not predict anything, but it does tell you who got the schedule.

TeamRecordAll-playExpected winsLuck
Of Mice and Mendozas2-36-590.46+1.54
Shough n Sons Electric Co.4-136-292.77+1.23
Off to Grandma5-054-114.15+0.85
Three Nix Nine3-228-372.15+0.85
The Wolf on Rubin Street2-317-481.31+0.69
Just Purdy4-144-213.38+0.62
The Weekend Lovers3-234-312.62+0.38
The Dudes4-152-134.00+0.00
Tyreek Child Support1-415-501.15-0.15
Jsquared4-155-104.23-0.23
handyjallday0-510-550.77-0.77
You Like That!2-341-243.15-1.15
Poultry Science1-433-322.54-1.54
The Drake and Dart Show0-530-352.31-2.31

The luckiest team is Of Mice and Mendozas, at 2-3 with an all-play record of 6-59 and the lowest point total in the league. The expected win total is 0.46, so the record is a gift. The unluckiest is The Drake and Dart Show, winless despite an all-play record of 30-35 that is close to average. Poultry Science and You Like That! also trail their points. At the top, Jsquared (55-10) and The Dudes (52-13) sit right on their expected totals, and Off to Grandma (54-11) is less than a win above its expected 4.15, so those records are earned.

What Week 5 actually did to this league

Scores, margins and records, with a few new league-wide milestones

Winner

The Dudes' second straight 200

League: 201.02, one of three 200-point scores this season

Two of the three scores of 200 or more this season belong to The Dudes, in consecutive weeks. The opponent scored 184.64 and still lost, which is the clearest measure of how far ahead this lineup can get.

Winner

Off to Grandma's perfect record

League: the only 5-0 team remaining

Five wins, 194.88 this week, and a 20.42-point margin over a 174.46, led by Jahmyr Gibbs at 35.20. It is the lone team still at 5-0.

Winner

Just Purdy's statement win

League: 191.86, won by 54.22, the largest margin of the week

The previous top-ranked team lost by more than 54 points to a roster that rarely makes noise. It is the kind of result that gets a team noticed.

Loser

The Drake and Dart Show's 184.64

League: highest score by a losing team this season

The previous record for a loss was 182.70. This team is 0-5 with a score that would have beaten most of the league, which is either the cruelest luck in the standings or a sign of what the roster could do with a few more breaks.

Loser

Jsquared’s first loss

League: lost 137.64 to 191.86, a 54.22-point margin

One of three unbeaten teams after four weeks ended Week 5 with a lopsided defeat, with Aaron Rodgers (22.00) on the bench and Tyson Bagent (3.18) in the SUPERFLEX spot.

Loser

Tyreek Child Support’s empty slot

League: closest game of the season, a 0.24 loss to The Wolf on Rubin Street

The lineup had no player at its second running back spot, and Najee Harris scored 1.90 on the bench. That is more than the margin of the loss.

Loser

Shough n Sons’ bench

League: lost 108.22 to 136.06 with Jalen Carter (32.00) and Pat Freiermuth (19.00) on the bench

Two bench players outscored the starters they sat behind by 51.20 points between them, in a 27.84-point loss. Carter alone would have flipped the result.

Grading the correspondent, Weeks 0–5

Every ranking, prediction and trade grade this publication has issued, checked against what actually happened

B-Overall grade
65.7%Rankings picked the winner
3-1-1Bold predictions: hit, miss, open
8 of 14Trade grades changed

Rankings as forecasts

These are results-driven power rankings and not forecasts, so this is a harsh test. Each ranking is checked against the following week’s games, and the higher-ranked team is counted as the pick.

RankingGraded onHigher-ranked team wonBiggest miss
Issue No. 002Week 14 of 7Tyreek Child Support (13th) beat handyjallday (3rd) by 35.00
Issue No. 003Week 23 of 7The Dudes (5th) beat Poultry Science (2nd) by 51.72
Issue No. 004Week 35 of 7Of Mice and Mendozas (14th) beat Tyreek Child Support (12th) by 13.54
Issue No. 005Week 47 of 7No misses
Issue No. 006Week 54 of 7Just Purdy (5th) beat Jsquared (1st) by 54.22
Total23 of 3565.7%, against 50% for a coin flip

Bold predictions

The five guarantees from the Week 0 edition, graded at last.

VerdictPrediction (Issue No. 002)What happened
HitOff to Grandma’s QB2 room finally gets addressed by Thanksgiving.Malik Willis arrived in the Issue No. 003 trade, months before Thanksgiving, and started at SUPERFLEX in Week 5 for 20.88.
MissJaxson Dart starts every week for The Drake and Dart Show and nobody argues.Dart’s season ended with an injury, as reported in Issue No. 005. He scored 0.00 on the bench in Week 5.
HitThe Wolf on Rubin Street’s floor is lower than its Week 0 ranking suggests.Ranked 7th in Week 0 and 11th now, at 2-3. The weekly scores run 130.48, 146.92, 125.54, 105.80, 98.48.
HitThree Nix Nine or Shough n Sons makes a real trade before Halloween.Shough n Sons sent three picks to handyjallday for Quinshon Judkins and Andrew Van Ginkel on October 8.
OpenJsquared’s zero-draft-picks strategy gets tested for the first time.Jsquared took its first loss in Week 5, but no roster-altering injury has landed yet. The test is still ahead.

Trade grades, revisited

Original grades next to updated ones, based on how each player has actually been used. Most of these are one week of evidence, so treat the changes as a progress report.

IssueTeamTradeThenNowWhy
002Off to GrandmaPitts & WatsonB+BChristian Watson started at WR1 and scored 29.30 in Week 5. The Pitts half has not delivered.
002Of Mice and MendozasPitts & WatsonBBJayden Higgins is on the Of Mice and Mendozas IR; the two picks are banked.
002The Drake and Dart ShowJaxson DartBDDart’s season is over.
002Of Mice and MendozasJaxson DartA-AKirk Cousins and two firsts in hand, and Dart is gone.
003Off to GrandmaMalik WillisBB+Willis started at SUPERFLEX and scored 20.88.
003Of Mice and MendozasMilroe & picksB+B+Milroe sat on the bench at 0.00; the picks are still banked.
003Poultry ScienceCaleb DouglasC+CDouglas scored 0.00 on the bench.
003Just PurdyCaleb DouglasB-B-A future 2nd for a bench piece, still defensible.
004Tyreek Child SupportOmar Cooper Jr.B-CCooper scored 0.00 on the bench and two 2nds are gone.
004The Wolf on Rubin StreetOmar Cooper Jr.B+B+Two clean future picks for a depth piece.
004handyjalldayGeno SmithBC+Smith started at QB and scored 9.98.
004Shough n SonsJosh DownsBB-Downs scored 6.20 on the bench.
006Shough n SonsJudkins & Van GinkelB-B-Too early. Judkins scored 6.50 and Van Ginkel 12.50, both as starters, in a loss.
006handyjalldayJudkins & Van GinkelB+B+Too early. Picks banked for a team that is 0-5.

Teacher’s comment: Excellent at explaining things after they happen, adequate at predicting them before. The week-to-week forecasting record is a coin flip with extra steps, the trade grades have mostly held up, and the Dart prediction will be remembered. The weekly Look-ahead picks refresh with every page load and were never archived, so they cannot be graded retroactively and are not included here.

Matchups, rumors & final word

This week's slate, pulled live from Sleeper -- refreshes automatically, no republishing required

This Week's Matchups

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Roster's Look-Ahead: A McRosterface Exclusive

Every projection below comes straight from Sleeper's own player models, run through this newsletter's usual complete lack of humility. Predicted winners, predicted high scorers, and the players this desk expects to feast on a soft matchup -- issued with the Institute's standard confidence and standard zero accountability.

Loading Roster's picks from Sleeper…

The Gauntlet

Remaining strength of schedule: for every team, the average scoring of the opponents still on its schedule through the end of the regular season. The highest number is the hardest road. It pulls the full schedule from Sleeper and updates every week without republishing.

Loading the schedule from Sleeper…

Trade rumor mill

With no trades in Week 5, the market is waiting for someone to make the first move. Five weeks of results have clarified who needs what, and the standings now say who is in a position to pay for it.

The buyers to watch: Jsquared just lost for the first time and spent a 47 waiver bid on Dohnte Meyers, which suggests a front office still looking to add. The Weekend Lovers are 3-2 without a second starting back while Josh Jacobs is out. Tyreek Child Support has now lost two games by less than a point and needs receivers and a second quarterback; those are the kind of needs that turn a 1-4 team into a buyer.

The sellers to watch: handyjallday and Of Mice and Mendozas remain the league’s most obvious sellers, one at 0-5 and one at 2-3 with a roster built for later. The Drake and Dart Show is the more interesting case: 0-5, with scores that say the team is better than the record, and a decision about whether to hold or sell.

One team is unbeaten. Everyone else is, to varying degrees, still trying to figure out what they are.

Final word

Five weeks in, the league has one perfect team, two winless teams, and a lot of arguing in between. The extreme ends are clear; the middle is a conversation that three more weeks of results will start to settle.

Twelve weeks to go. The trade market is open. Act accordingly.

— Roster McRosterface

League data snapshot: Sleeper import dated October 13, 2026. Matchup widget queries Sleeper live on each page load.

Issue No. 008

The Quarter-Pole Reckoning

Can anyone catch Off to Grandma? The lone unbeaten team meets its toughest test yet.

Six weeks of standings: who is actually good, and who has been lucky.

The first trade since Judkins: does the market finally move?

More overreactions. More rankings. Zero patience for small sample sizes.

The end — until the next trade offer, injury update or bold prediction that ages in reverse.