The officially unofficial home of Sweats Only
Weekly dynasty coverage, proprietary metrics, permanent league history, and power rankings that remain correct even when the results disagree.
Flagship publication
The weekly memo covering Sweats Only like the fate of civilization depends on it.
Post-draft power rankings, Trust Me Bro Analytics™, draft-room complaints, trade rumors, and a locker-room testimonial introducing Senior Dynasty Correspondent Roster McRosterface.
Analytics research desk
Every department is fully staffed by Roster McRosterface.
Office of Unsolicited Rankings
Fourteen teams arranged in the only order that can be defended until Sunday.
Latest rankingsCenter for Advanced Vibes
Proprietary models, confident percentages and charts that become more credible in color.
Research archive coming soonDepartment of Institutional Memory
Champions, drafts, legendary trades and the official record of who started it.
Archive under constructionQuarterback Crisis Response Team
For managers who need a starting quarterback and would prefer to give up nothing.
Response times may varyOfficial franchise directory
Every crest is official. Every profile is being prepared for future litigation.
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About the Company
Founded in 2026 from a folding table beside a washing machine, Trust Me Bro, Analytics exists to advance dynasty-fantasy research through proprietary metrics, selective memory and an unwavering refusal to hedge.
“We are not saying the model is perfect. We are saying the model has a logo.” — Roster McRosterface, FounderView the brand system
Under active development
Team history, identity, picks and McRosterface's permanent record.
A living timeline of champions, trades, drafts and league mythology.
Standings, schedules, scores and transactions updated from the league.